Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Do we all have parts?

I think some people without DID have internal voices; we all have aspects of ourselves. My psychologist describes how a person might seem different when at work than they are with their family and again, different than with their friends. Different aspects of a person's personality are expressed in different situations.

With DID, it is more extreme where the parts are more separate. Sometimes they can do things that another part isn't aware of. Some people with DID have voices and others aren't aware of their parts. But there are some other symptoms which signify that DID might be the diagnosis. Some people may not realise there is anything amiss except that they lose periods of time or find evidence that they have done things they don't remember doing.

I didn't tell my psychologist things that were an issue for me for fear of not being believed or of being locked up but now that I am reading about the symptoms of DID, I realise a lot of the things are a common feature and if I'd just been honest and expressed them earlier, maybe it would've helped the psychologist to figure me out quicker. But then in hindsight I realise they figured it out a long time before they decided to tell me explicitly what they thought it was so it didn't matter too much anyway.

These parts were formed in order for me to protect myself and function in an environment where it would have been difficult to tolerate some of the emotions that experiences provoked. Nowadays, life would be much easier if the parts were more in unity, so it's not useful anymore.

I am only one alter in the whole of Candycan and most of the other parts do not communicate very well at all. We are lucky to have this part who can also help some of the other parts to express themselves, but not always.

I dont know if that makes sense to you!


ANGELO said...

When did you realize that you have DID?

Candycan said...

I always felt 'different'. I started going to clinical psychology two years ago and learned that some of the things that happen to me are called 'dissociation'. I then learnt there were different types of dissociation and I knew that I had different parts so it was more like a gradual process of becoming conscious of it. I hadnt really acknowledged that it could be DID though and when my psychologist told me that it is DID, about a year ago it was still a shock (even though i knew i had all the symptoms). I didnt accept the diagnosis without question and even now I struggle with it sometimes. As well, one of my alters is quite separate from the rest of us and isnt aware of any other parts. They feel I am perfectly fine and dont need to be in therapy at all. When this part is active they cant understand what all the fuss has been about! It's hard to get your head around how DID works and I'm still learning every day. It's still relatively new for me, even though I see it's been with me for a long time.