I don't have DID

I am in function mode
I am not myself.
Things are quiet inside my mind. Where is all the chatter gone?
I remember talking through my parts at therapy and her counting them out but I can't imagine how there could be that amount. She said there might be others I don't know about and.... what did she say? Sub parts?
Maybe it was all a misunderstanding. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I was just making it up.
How could it be DID?
I don't think anything bad happened to me. Maybe I just have an over sensitive brain. I have made up those memories. I must just be genetically mentally unstable. I'm just pathetic.
How am I going to be able to go to my therapy session when I can't relate to any of the things we have been talking about recently? It feels like someone elses problems that I've just overheard. I can't be bothered thinking about my brain. I just want to drift through life and not be conscious of those things. I want to 'function'.
Is it the time of year making me like this? Is it because I have to socialise more and am busier getting stuff organised?
Even reading other DID blogs, I feel so separate now, where other times I think I marvelled at how similar other people are to me. Now I feel like I've turned up at a party with the wrong dress code. Now I wonder, was I fooling myself?