Some days I do my work so efficiently and everything seems straightforward; just a logical series of simple steps that should be completed in order to do my job well. The hours fly by and I may even find myself wanting the day to slow down because I'm so keen to achieve more before I go home. Usually on days like this I tend to stay at work an hour or two late because I know I need to make the most of days like this.
Then there are the other days where it's a huge effort to drag myself out of bed and pull myself together enough to get into the office late and I can't focus on anything so that I end up sitting at my desk trying to look busy but praying for a miracle that will make the time speed up so I can go home and lie down. I achieve very little on these days, except for gaining a nagging guilty feeling that proceeds to follow me around and remind me that I'm a bad person who doesn't deserve to have a good job because she doesn't put the work in.
Today was like the latter. I didn't make it into work until ten; I can't even think what I managed to do while I was there except for fill in a few tables with some data that I'd collected after faffing about on my emails for an hour. I then ended up coming home at 2.30 with a pile of work because I just couldn't bear to sit at my desk for one more minute. It's after eight now and I haven't started the work. I've just been flaked out on the sofa all afternoon and evening. So by my calculations I have three and a half hours left of the working day to make up.
Why does it have to be so complicated? Why can't I be the former way all of the time? It seems that I'm just lazy. I can't think of a better excuse for it. But why am I not lazy on the other days? What is it like for other people? Is everyone like this? Are most people like the hard working part? Or are most people somewhere in between? If so does that mean that on average I work at the same level as a normal person?
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