People with D.I.D generally want to be accepted and worry about being abandoned by others. D.I.D is not something I have told many people about. It is probably a big concern for most people with D.I.D that others will think they are making it up and looking for attention or wotnot.
Actually, this is something I have struggled with myself. I have an alter who doesn’t believe in any of the rest of us but thinks they just made it all up and are just really sick in the head for doing something like that.
It’s easy for me to see that it is real because I am well tuned in to much of what is happening now, but when that other alter is out, it is separate from us, all is quiet in their head, there are no other voices, everything is simple and clear and there is nothing at all the matter with Candycan.
They then think about all the hours of NHS money that has gone into trying to help me and feel REALLY guilty. So if I can have my doubts (I say 'I' because I do know that the parts are all me at the end of the day: I just don’t experience them as one person) then I understand how others can too, but reading about people who don’t believe D.I.D exists and believe it is just made up, throws me into a lot of turmoil.
I also understand that because people generally only see one aspect of me that it would come as quite a surprise if I told them there is all this other stuff that goes on that they don’t know about.
Sometimes I am so separate from things myself that it even shocks me to think that I am able to go to work and do my job well and have a chat and a laugh with my colleagues when I might have been up until 4am the night before feeling like I want to die and hurting myself.
I find it a fascinating disorder (if you're going to be crazy, you may as well have something interesting lol) and although sometimes I go through extremely difficult times with it, I am also learning more by the month about the condition and realising how complex the mechanics of it are, yet the mechanics, once you understand them are actually really logical.
If there's anything you would like to know please ask me.