I have been unintentionally neglecting my blogging a bit lately. I wasnt very well last week and this week was pretty exhausting being back at work but on the bright side, I have been doing some work with reconnecting with my internal friends and feel as though I'm out of function mode but not in any other desperate state. What I mean by that is that when not in function mode, if I am focussing on whats going on in my head, sometimes it is easy to be taken over by one part and their emotions, so I might find myself becoming very depressed or full of despair or anxious. I feel at the moment I have managed to get a balance so that I am aware of several parts and what they are thinking but without any one more extreme part taking over for a considerable amount of time. This is what I imagine a good outcome might be like for many: being able to communicate with parts and feel them there but not feel controlled by any one. I guess that might be what they mean by co consciousness. Well, thats not to say I think I am better and everythings great and I don't need therapy anymore. I'm just saying, at times like this I feel more hope that one day I might be able to be like this all the time. I am not being naive that I might go downstairs now and something will upset me and cause a big catastrophe resulting in me switching, as it often does, but I don't think it's a bad thing to acknowledge that right now I am feeling comfortable with where I am. I am looking forward to my therapy session tomorrow as well as when in this state I am most able to progress in therapy. I am more likely to have a good insight into whats happening in my head and less likely to dissociate.
Speaking of dissociating, this happened in my session last week and meant my T was able to bring out the box of items I had gotten together for situations like this. I will have to tell you about how that worked out.
But for now, I have to get going and get stuff done. Only three days left until I head on my big adventure around the world with my husband!
This is such a wonderful encouraging post, I am so happy for you Candy! Healing is a slow progress but you do start to have good days and slowly you start to have more good days, and the days last longer.
ReplyDeleteI hope this continues for you, particularly with your up-coming trip. Have a wonderful time!!
Thanks. Today's session was very hard and unexpected things came out but I guess maybe in the long run that is a good thing.
ReplyDelete