tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576170691178435057.post5210088740938689846..comments2023-10-23T22:03:55.915+01:00Comments on Candycan and Co...: Falling apart and holding it togetherCandycanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11829509163881070649noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576170691178435057.post-23647274861292037852012-01-28T16:16:47.932+00:002012-01-28T16:16:47.932+00:00Don't worry about posting too much - that'...Don't worry about posting too much - that's the beauty of a blog, we can read or not as we wish. You just write when you need to. I know my blog is certainly my therapy.<br /><br />I'm glad to hear you got some positive closure-type interaction with your T. Maybe you could hang an email or note or something of her where you can see it, just to remember she's real. Or have any littles that do remember her draw a picture for the ones that don't, maybe? <br /><br />As far as bad feelings being a good thing, when you can't feel anything, feeling something is better. An overabundance of feeling, of any kind, can give you a cathartic release of it all. Breaking the dam, so to speak.<br /><br />Instinctive self-harm. I do it, sometimes. Found a small cutting on my thigh last night, about two days old. Small, nothing special. I have a vague memory of cleaning up, finding a scalpel, making a few cuts, and putting it away, nothing emotional - just because it was there. Myself, I think maybe it's a good thing to be able to de-emotionalize it.Meronymhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12236547756894952486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576170691178435057.post-83759668659129904712012-01-14T22:46:41.656+00:002012-01-14T22:46:41.656+00:00Hi Ruth, you're right about making sure the pa...Hi Ruth, you're right about making sure the pains are not anything else. I think it's a mixture of both with me. I think sometimes when doctors know a person has psychological issues or admits to pain being linked to stress, they can be quick to put everything down to psychological factors. I experienced this just yesterday actually.<br /><br />Erica, it's great to know you are reading. Thank you so much. I'm sorry that you go through these times too. I know what you mean about being strong not always being a good sign. <br /><br />Thank you Normalwasnotmygoal. I went out for dinner today and had dessert and although I thought about purging, I was able to sit with it, so I guess that's a good thing.<br /><br />CimmerianInk, I like your point about emotions being good even the bad ones. I think what you say about needing to feel 'something' rather than unreal is how I have been feeling too.Candycanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11829509163881070649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576170691178435057.post-62944998637805895882012-01-14T17:48:30.555+00:002012-01-14T17:48:30.555+00:00I actually understand it when "bad" emot...I actually understand it when "bad" emotions feel good. I but bad in quote marks because my therapist often says that emotions aren't bad. I went through a period where I was cut off from my internal selves and I remember how desperately I wanted to feel emotions, *any* emotions because when I didn't, I didn't feel real.<br /><br />When the emotions came back, even though they were sadness and fear etc. I was glad because I could feel again.<br /><br />I'm so very sorry that you felt the need to hurt yourself. You're going through a rough time and losing a therapist would be a blow to anyone in this situation. It would probably be good to make a list of some others ways you can cope when things get bad and then look at that list to remind yourself of other options. Maybe your new therapist can help with that?<br /><br />Just a thought. Be good to you.CimmerianInkhttp://www.bipolardid.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576170691178435057.post-24586632457748340882012-01-13T21:59:33.640+00:002012-01-13T21:59:33.640+00:00Hoping you're doing better today....Hoping you're doing better today....NormalWasNotMyGoalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14687479883199918652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576170691178435057.post-17603276278324290752012-01-12T17:30:22.052+00:002012-01-12T17:30:22.052+00:00Oh Candycan I feel for you. I wish I can put the w...Oh Candycan I feel for you. I wish I can put the world right and take away all the pain. I am so sad to hear your instinct for selfharming is back. I definitely go threw phases of needing to selfharm, but we are feeling strong at the moment (which isn't always a good sign) cos thats often when the walls come tumbling down. Hopefully you will build a really good relationship with your new therapist and that will help you. <br />Keep reaching out. We are all listening and sending you our best wishes and thoughts.<br />Take care<br />EricaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8576170691178435057.post-14194859966782240872012-01-12T05:09:01.853+00:002012-01-12T05:09:01.853+00:00Tough questions with most of the answers trapped i...Tough questions with most of the answers trapped in your own memories. Check your bills...T is real. You don't have to pay for imagination. I am not being sarcastic or rude. This is why I have a room full of hoarded stuff to prove things happen. When I started having vivid body memories I started at the medical doctors office to make sure the problems were real or not. I was never quite sure if I was happy or sad when test results came back normal. I do know that body memories are real. The pain is real. Unfortunately medical doctors don't always have the answers. Take care, RuthRuthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07083142637240943607noreply@blogger.com